Monday, May 23, 2016

Bailey My Dog And Work Companion

My dog Bailey died this weekend. It was very unexpected. Saturday after a brushing and back massage he suddenly became lethargic and lost most of the use of his back legs. He is a yellow lab and one of our first thoughts was possible hip dysplasia. Over the course of several hours he worsened until we finally brought him to the emergency clinic. We were stunned to learn he had a tumor on his spleen that was bleeding. He's always been a pretty healthy dog. Overnight they stabilized him and we brought him home. I was not ready to have him put down. He seemed much better and we were given medications to use. We were told he would die from this eventually but it could be months before another bleed occurred. Not an hour after getting home he became sicker and sicker and by nighttime a decision was made to take him back in to get the shot and end things. I didn't go. I wasn't fully on board with the decision and I didn't want to grieve in public. That sounds selfish and probably is. I said goodbye at home laying on the floor with him.

I had him for about 9 years and he was 11 years old. He was my work companion every day. I had taught him how to pick things up and hand them to me as it is hard for me to bend my knees. He did it cheerfully time after time. He loved sniffing all the new smells only he could smell every time I brought new inventory into the house. More than once he had to deal with a sudden toppling of a death pile (you all know what I mean). Working from home we spent every day together. Today I will try to use the work to move forward but my ears ring with the silence.

I never realized the huge hole he would leave in my life and the grief I would feel. Below is a recent picture I took. He is modeling a vintage accordion fence I was listing :)


Edited to add:

As I get through this day I keep hearing little noises and my brain automatically thinks Bailey. I decided to write a little list like people do about themselves except about Bailey. So here are 10 things you didn't know about Bailey.

1. He loved to give people a lick or a poke. He couldn't pass by a person without a quick lick or nudge of his nose. It drove me nuts at first :)

2. He knew lots of words. One that made people laugh was "personal space". If he was hovering around begging for attention too much all I had to say was 'personal space' and he'd go lay down. He knew all the basics. Down, sit, stay (wasn't the best at staying). 

3. He didn't like fruit or veggies. 

4. He was a lab but had no apparent hunting instinct. Bunnies, squirrels, birds would not cause him a second glance or even a first glance really. He loved people though and other dogs. 

5. He got very anxious riding in cars. It made it hard to take him anywhere. He would pant and pace and drool and whine. Once stumbling around he put my flashers on  and bumped the gear shift into another gear. Oops. After that I put a seat belt on him. 

6. He didn't really like to play. He'd chase a ball once or twice and that was it. He loved to walk though and just be pet. 

7. When he ate he'd go to his bowl sniff it and walk away, rinse repeat several times. He'd rarely commit after the first sniff unless I was cooking. Then his appetite seemed to get the best of him and he'd start right in. 

8. He had yellow hair

9. He liked to dance.

10. He'd high five you if you asked.



23 comments:

  1. Nancy, I'm so sorry to hear about Bailey -- labs are such wonderful dogs and I know what it's like when you find (as we did with our Boomer -- age 13) that you suddenly have just days with them. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Rose

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    1. Thank you Rose. If/when I get another dog another lab would be right there at the top of the list of breeds. I couldn't imagine a more good natured dog.

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  2. Nancy, I'm so sorry to hear about Bailey -- labs are such wonderful dogs and I know what it's like when you find (as we did with our Boomer -- age 13) that you suddenly have just days with them. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Rose

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  3. I am so, so sorry for your loss. We lost our Edward the same way recently, and our dog Lizzie before him also had a spleen tumor. You made the right decision - for him. Which is what matters. It's always too soon to let them go. He knows how much you love him.

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    1. Thank you. I'm sorry for your Edward too. I read your blog but not regularly and missed that you had lost yours. It's weird because just a couple of days ago I was thinking to myself that I'd never lost anyone that I was close to. My parents are in their 80s and my Mom isn't well. I have dreaded that loss. I almost feel like the universe took Bailey as a sort of lesson in grief to prepare me.

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  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. Pets leave such a void in our life when they leave.

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  5. It is so difficult to make decisions for a pet that is dying. We were so lucky that our vet (and an assistant) did a home euthanasia for our cat, Webster, who had kidney failure. We were able to hold him as he drifted to sleep and eventually died. When we were ready, we gave his body to the vet so she could get him to the pet crematory. A few days later we received his ashes in a special box with a certificate and a plaster cast of this paw. We could not have had a better experience. We didn't want to cry at the vet's office either or have to drive home. Instead, it was in the privacy of our home. It was more expensive, of course, but worth every penny. Thank you for sharing 10 things about your wonderful companion. I wish you peace.

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    1. thank you. I wish I had his ashes but it's too late. I'm going to plant something in my yard the color of his fur to remember him. I'm thinking some pretty ornamental grass in a nice yellow.

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  6. What a beautiful tribute to your dear companion! I feel like I knew him. RIP, dear Bailey; you truly led a worthwhile life!

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  7. I am SO sorry for your loss. Bailey is such a handsome boy! We have Labs in our family (and have had others through the years. My sister just had to put her boy down two weeks ago due to a brain tumor. He was her best buddy. My Lab is 13, and while she currently resides with my parents, she was such a constant companion after my husband died. Dogs enrich our lives in so many ways that when it's time for them to go the void is huge. I hope your memories of Bailey bring you joy and comfort.

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  8. I am so sorry! I started to cry reading this post. I have a dog that is 15 years old and I don't know what I will do when she is gone. Bailey sounds very special.

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  9. Thank you for sharing Bailey's list - what a sweet, clever boy. It physically hurts when one loses our furry BFFs. I'm sorry you are going through this pain. It's going to hurt, but it does mean you shared a true and deep love for Bailey and we are here to share your burden. I'm glad you were able to say good-bye - days, weeks, maybe even years from now, you will be glad too. I'm always comforted by this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9mEYZxkDsM

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  10. So sorry for your loss. Bailey looks like such a sweetie =) What a special tribute to such a special special boy =) Wishing you peace and blessings.

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    1. Thank you Jen. It has gotten easier the last couple of days but ever little noise still automatically makes me think of him.

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  11. So sorry to hear about your dog. Although "only" an animal, they are part of our everyday lives and are part of our family. It must be such a hard time, but grieving is a healing process and it is great that you remember the happy times with him by writing a list of what made him unique!

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