Friday, May 1, 2015

Just Some Updates

I finally removed the last of free shipping from my store. It took me a couple of weeks as I had a lot of older listings (mostly books) that still had free shipping. The reason I wanted get rid of free shipping  was so that this didn't happen again. I've had my Bonanza shop on vacation since that happened so I finally was able to reopen it a couple of days ago after updating the listings.

Rummage sales have exploded in my part of the country the last two weeks. My least favorite word right now is "Huge". Almost every rummage sale is described as huge. I'd like to grab some of these people by the scruff of the neck and give um a good shake after I navigate to their off the beaten path sale and find it's anything but huge. Not even 'big'. Grrr. It makes me want to buy something just so it wasn't a wasted trip. Does this happen to you too or is it a special sort of person who resides in the midwest that likes to do this?

I've had a couple of great sales lately that I wanted to point out.

I wrote about the Buster Bunny in a recent post. He sold for $45 plus shipping! I paid 0.50 for him at a church rummage sale.



I bought this Bizzy Buzz Buzz a long time ago but I didn't list it until recently. Nostalgia for your childhood toys is worth big bucks! Paid a couple of dollars for it at most and it sold for $99! plus shipping. I remember having one of these when I was a kid.


Off the topic of reselling I've been spending a lot of emotional energy lately on my Mom who has dementia. My parents actually both have dementia and live in assisted living memory care near me. 

My mother's dementia is much more difficult than my Dad's. One of the saddest and most difficult things I've been dealing with the last couple of years having a parent with dementia isn't the actual dementia but has been fighting and being a witness to the treatment by facilities and medical professionals of our old people including my Mom and Dad. It is  painful and frustrating and makes me so angry as I want this difficult time in my Mom's life to be as happy as possible. 


Some of the issues we've seen are the over medicating of people with sedatives, being pressured to sedate a parent by a physician, safety hazards that go unchecked, underpaid, overworked caregivers/aides, bad caregivers who spend more time on their phones and butts than interacting with the residents and many other things. I could go on and on and maybe will in another post. 

In some ways things are much better than 20 years ago but don't believe the pictures you see in the ads of all of the smiling elderly with the smiling caregiver behind them. It is simply advertising like any other industry. 

You'll be surprised when you start visiting care facilities at the costs and what can keep you out of a beautiful facility. The best facilities are for the wealthy and the people who do not have difficult behaviors. Most facilities in my part of the country require a person to be able to pay one to two years privately before they will accept Medicaid. This equates to $60,000 to $120,000 per parent. If you can't afford that then you move on to the places that will accept Medicaid sooner. Thus you are limited to those available in your community or to place your parent in another community away from family. The better a facility is the longer the waiting list and the choosier they can be when picking who they take. It's a stressful process. You finally think it's over when you find a facility that seems like a good fit. You've only begun because the state of care in our country is really sad. It may appear pretty on the outside. You'll find nice looking buildings now made to look more like homes. Wide open spaces. Private rooms. My parents are in one of the better places in our community in the price range that most normal people can afford. Yet though we toured many places and found them the best they could afford there are many problems facing us. It's quite stressful and painful. Here is a recent article I read.  

I'm 51 and I know some of my readers are in my age bracket. In 20 years or so we will be at this point in our lives. It is predicted that cases of dementia and need for care facilities are going to explode in the next 20 years as the baby boomers arrive at this stage in life and that we are not prepared. As resellers we talk about getting out of the corporate world to enjoy life and not worry about making more money than we need. How many of us are planning for possible life in a care facility? I know I'm not preparing. If you don't have a couple hundred thousand in the bank when you get to this age and you happen to get dementia this is what you face. 

Keep in mind our older people. Is there something you can do to make a difference in your own communities? Many older people sit alone with no family or friends. Volunteer visitors can make such a difference. Even an hour a week. Do you have a special talent, hobby or topic you like to talk about? Share it with some elders. Many times the people that get the most attention in a facility are those that have the least dementia. It's easier to interact with them. Others who may no longer talk sit ignored except when it's time to eat or go to bed. 

Lastly some documentaries I've watched that I'd recommend to you. 

Alive Inside (You can watch on Netflix or Amazone)



I hope this wasn't too much of a downer post. Do you have elderly parents or a parent with dementia? Let me know in the comments.


13 comments:

  1. I watched both my grandmother, and then later my mother suffer through dementia. My grandmother was put in a nursing home; it was awful. My mother, fortunately, was living with us during her decline. She fell, had a stroke, and never recovered. In a way, her death from the fall was more merciful that slowly dying in a nursing home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Scott. I'm glad you were able to have your mom in your home. I wish I could do that. I was pretty down when I wrote this post but just got back from visiting my folks. It was a much better day afterward. We went for a ride and got ice cream and took a nice meandering ride through a local park. It was good for them and me.

      Delete
  2. So sorry to hear about your parents. I lost both my parents at a pretty early age unexpectedly. I imagine it being much harder to watch the decline of a parent. Stay strong

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That had to be hard for you too. I imagine to lose your parents unexpectedly is hard to get over.

      Delete
  3. Been there. Thankfully I was able to keep Mom with us at our house for most of her last years. She ended up in a care facility for only 6 weeks. Its really hard to watch things go downhill and you have to step up and be the "Mom" to your own Mom. I try not to think about what will happen to us when that time comes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. That role reversal thing is strange. I try to not treat my parents like children but I know I often do it anyway.

      Delete
  4. I'm so sorry :( My last living grandparent has moderate dementia/Alzeheimers and can't be alone. My mom and aunts take turns staying with her in her home (for now). She gets the best care LOL but my mom and aunts are in their 60s and completely worn out. I wish I lived closer :(

    on the reselling note I HATE the word huge....but even more I hate "community" no longer do I go out of my way for huge community sales....more often than not they are 2 houses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can relate to your Mom and aunts. I helped take care of my parents for a year or so before they moved into assisted living. It is exhausting!

      Oh yeah. Community also annoying. The only word I still trust is " church" LOL. I'll take a church sale any day.

      Delete
  5. How heartbreaking to have not one, but both parents with dementia. That must be so hard for you. I often think that if I stay healthy, I can be around for another 30 years or more. Yikes! I am so not prepared for that financially.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lorraine. There are many good moments even though they have dementia. Like I said the tougher part is dealing with all the other crap. If I could I would keep them in my home but I'd have to overhaul my life as a reseller and retrofit my home for people with walkers. As a single person that doesn't seem possible right now. There are six kids in our family scattered over our state but ours was not a family where anyone took in my parents. I'm grateful they aren't in nursing homes as that can be worse. Not always but often.

      As far as preparing financially it's very hard to know what kind of money you will need. Will you be able to stay in your own home the rest of your life or will you have to move into some sort of facility. Will your child live near you or with you and help care for you. It seems impossible that we will be in these situations but we will.

      Delete
  6. Sorry to hear about your parents Nancy! Listening to Dave Ramsey, this issue comes up quite a bit. He definitely recommends that once you hit 60, everyone should buy long term care insurance. This allows you then to have the option of in home care, etc. It may not be that cheap, but I'd rather buy the insurance to make certain that when I need care, my money won't be spent on care, but will hopefully be saved for my kids.

    I took care of my FIL for over a year about 13 years ago after a bad accident and brain surgery. It was not easy. But I had just had my 2nd son and wanted to come home to be with him and didn't mind helping out with my FIL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ideally I would buy long term care insurance but don't know if I could afford it. i'm only 51 right now so I have some time but I haven't actually looked into it. It is a good idea. Have you looked into the costs? I've heard that it is expensive.

      Delete
  7. Very good post. Sorry to hear about the hard time you're going through. My mom is currently going through it with my grandmother. She's had painful arthritis since her 20s and has been on high powered medication for it. Now in her mid 70s her lungs are turning to scar tissue from the medication and nothing much can be done for her. My mom gets a bit stressed sometimes between that and work. I'm 29 and as the eldest child I'll most likely be the one taking care of my parents when they're advanced in years. I'm planning now for it so in 25 years time it'll (hopefully) be a bit easier. What a terrible thought to think about, the passing of one's parents. I know this doesn't apply to the other people who posted but I wish more parents realized that they are setting an example to their children by how they treat their parents. If they ship off and neglecting their parents they are teaching their children how they should be treated when they're old.

    ReplyDelete